When the time is right - It will be right.

I AM NOT, NOR WAS I EVER BEFORE .... ENGAGED.

Another one of those blogs that consists of random thoughts and feelings I've had the past couple days that result in the lack of sleep at night...for me.

The past week has been a rough one. To put it lightly I have been put in a situation I don't feel is very fair to me. Being this is my blog (and pretty much anyone could be reading this) I don't want to say much about it other than it has been so heartbreaking.

All I know is that with scripture study, fasting, and being prayerful I know everything will be OK:) I have so much faith that taking the necessary steps daily to ultimately get to where I want to be someday - everything will work out. President Hiatt really put it into perspective for me this last week in saying: "when the time is right, it will be right"

I have never once felt that I was rushing into something that I wasn't prepared for. I have diligently been calling upon the spirit to lead and guide me. No one is perfect, and sadly, but surely everyone makes mistakes. Some larger than others! Thankfully for most of us, we have the truthfulness of the gospel and unwavering testimonies that get us through. I have never once ever been in-active in my life! In fact, through my years I have had one of the strongest testimonies given the family I was placed in. It's kind of hard to get off the beaten path with 4 older brothers and a sister who thinks she's "mom" even if I had wanted too. I cherish the gospel and the presence of the spirit in my life daily. I feel I was able to witness [growing up the youngest of 6] my parents live the scripture from John : I have no greater joy than to hear my children walk in truth. The smiles on their faces when my brothers would open a mission call, report to the MTC, get married in the temple, return to school, return with honor, receive patriarchal blessings...all these things have filled my parents with joy - and I was able to see that ... Times five.

I have never once in my life been told I was holding someone back. That I wasn't adored. It is rough to hear that you don't have the love or support from someone you have the utmost respect for. Someone I look up to so much - yet, hardly know. I appreciate and love Ryan's whole family so much. They are awesome. The love and support they share for one another is great:) It reminds me much of my own family and my own siblings. All our parents ever wanted for the Noble kids is for them to make good choices in order to get to where we need/want to be. In watching most my brothers and sisters get married in the Temple it has only helped make it a priority for me. Seeing them and their families I can honestly say I can't wait for my big day [when the time is right]

Do I know for sure when or where....no. There is a lot of unanswered questions and unanswered prayers....but in due time when things are right - ultimately a decision will be made and things won't be so unanswered. Sometimes I feel like I could just write a novel and pour all my heart and feelings into my blog. But that would require me making my blog private which I am so against, as I still have friends from Alaska, College, and High School that try and keep up with it from time to time.

I pray for a day though that I can be accepted. For a day they'll be willing to get to know me. For a day people won't take others opinions or words and make them their own. A time when I can say "I've endured the worst, and now the best is yet to come:)" I know that the statement holds truth..."this too shall pass" and I have faith that me patiently waiting for that time to come will be beneficial. I question now (with the feelings I have) If I have ever been in Love. I know I have loved...but being IN LOVE is a much different feeling. I guess with the eternal perspective that is to be expected but I am now a statistic...one of the ones who can say "if only I knew then, what I know now"

I would delete a lot of the my previous entries, in fact I should. Truth of the matter is - I don't log in often enough to even update! I don't even think of posts I wrote when I was 18! Quite frankly my past is a part of who I am - as are the people of my past. The humorous posts of my PHASES, marrying Michael Phelps, or a testimony meeting I was inspired to blog about all mean something to me. Yes, I may be at a different Era in my life. In a whole new book, on a whole new shelf, in a whole new library, in a whole new state....but this is a journal. For my family to enjoy and keep up to date on my life. It elimates the questions - and I'm so glad we all have the blogs:) Basically I'm thankful for the gospel. I'm so indeed grateful for my amazingly supportive siblings. I know I can call upon each and every one of you in a time of need. I'm so grateful for Ryan and for the strong individual he is. I look up to him for what he was, what he is, and what he will be. I thankful for my parents and all the love and enduring kindness and support they offer me. They are awesome and I'm so glad I don't take them for granted. I'm thankful for the atonement and the fact that it never runs out. I'm thankful for good friends like Autumn, Rick and YSA to help me keep a sane head. I'm thankful for this trial - to test my patience and love. I know I'm strong. I know what I want, and what I need. I will get there when the time is right. With the wise words of Russ Hiatt persisting in the back of my head:

"When The Time Is Right, It Will Be."

Road Trip 20K2010

The Plan : April General Conference 2010
The Company : Ryan, Stuart, and Taylor Rios, Rick Curtiss, and Deanna
The Place: Rexburg, ID and Salt Lake City UT.

We began our trip like any other Noble family vacation...We left a little later than planned and made excellent time. The group departed from Libby around 7 pm headed south towards Rexburg. We arrived around 3:45 am and thought it would be appropriate to go to Stuarts apartment and quitely wake him up. Luckily his front door was unlocked so we just walked in. The boys went to the back bedroom to say hello and I waited in the living room. We talked for about 45 minutes with Stuart and formulated a plan for the following day. We stayed at Stephanie and Andrews that evening, but were so starving when we got to their apartment. Knowing my sister there are always DELICIOUS left overs in the fridge so I knew if I could make it to her apartment I wouldn't die of starvation:) Once there she had Ham, Potatoes, Salad, and Jello all in tupperwares in the fridge inviting us to eat. We couldnt help ourselves after such a long drive. I slept on the hide-a-bed, and Taylor, Rick and Ryan slept in David and Hannah's room. I woke up the next morning around 8 am when David came out, but I was so exhausted he just sat at the end of my bed watching a movie on his portable DVD player. I probably woke up around 9:30, made the boys some eggs... and then showered. Once we were all ready my FHE brother from Spring Semester 2009 Jeff Bench wanted us to stop in and enjoy some of his fries:) He makes the most mouth watering fries and fry sauce anyone could partake of. He also fried us up some hamburgers. He's probably the nicest guy I ever encountered at BYU-I. I'm so happy that I have friends from Rexburg I keep in contact with on a regular basis. After leaving there we gathered our stuff, picked up Stuart and began our journey towards Provo, UT where we'd be staying Friday night.

After Blackfoot we hit some very intense traffic, and were traveling at about 5 mph if we weren't sitting at a dead stop. It was about 40 - 50 minutes later we could see ahead an accident. It appeared to be one car in the median. We only were able to capture a couple pictures of the wreck before maneuvering around traffic to get ahead of the mess. Once we hit Pocatello the traffic pretty much dissipated and were on our way to bigger and better places.

Being that we got in so late the previous night, no one had really had the opportunity to get much sleep. Because I was the only female on the trip I somehow lucked out with shotgun the entire time...or it could be not so much luck, as it is the fact i'm dating the driver? Anyways Rick, Taylor and Stuart were pretty squeezed in the backseat if you can't tell...

(traveling stresses Taylor out)

Here is a beautiful picture of Taylor sleeping. Notice he had to sit forward to really get comfortable as all three guys in the back seat have broad shoulders. You can really tell how tired Taylor truly is by his finger in his eye that doesn't even phase him. Poor guys:)

The trip went fairly quick after we got into UT. Towns just flew by and before we knew it we had arrived at Bob's house (Rick's friend from Mission/School). After brief introductions and small chit chat we left Bob's to go meet up with Matt. Matt had bought a gun safe at a Costco in SLC and was bringing it back to Provo and needed help unloading it. While waiting for the safe to show up, Ryan, Stuart, Taylor and I drove around the Provo Temple and MTC. Once they arrived at Matt's house we went there and Ryan and Stuart proved to my brother they weren't just good looks. (note: Taylor spectated) Since we hadn't eaten since Jeff's we headed to IHOP and Matt joined us. It was fun for my brother to get to spend a little time with Ryan. We got back to Bob's pretty late and all went to bed:)

The next morning we got up early to head to temple square. We wanted to wait in line to attempt getting into one of the sessions Saturday. Once we arrived we were like #40 in line for the afternoon session. Which meant we were going to have to listen to the morning session over loud speakers while waiting in line all morning and afternoon. Can't complain though we did have fun sitting out in the cold:) We took the opportunity then to snap a few photos of Ryan, Stuart and Taylor. Because Taylor is leaving on his mission to Mexico in May - this would be one of the last times the brothers would really have the chance to create lasting memories and take pictures. I feel so blessed to have been able to be apart of their weekend together. It was so much fun!

It was quite difficult snapping pictures of the boys. They are photogenic even if they aren't looking at the camera! Silly guys:) Out of like 20 pictures i'd take in one setting - i'd maybe get one or two good ones where all three were looking at the camera smiling. Other than that they are laughing, joking and what not. But I can't complain because Kodak moments are just as good as any other:)

Ryan and his younger brothers Stuart and Taylor Rios.

Ryan and I braving the cold weather in hopes to get inside the conference center for the afternoon session!

Because it was so cold - I recommended that Taylor and his girlfriend go inside. She was freezing and didn't appear to be able to stand the cold. Stuart, Ryan and I waited in line holding their places.

During the morning sessions intermediate hymn we asked Taylor and Annie to come trade us so we could sit inside awhile. But then the sun came out and it temple square was empty. I asked Ryan and Stuart if maybe they wanted to go take some photos before the conference center emptied and thousands of people would be fighting to get those same pictures we were:) They agreed so we walked around temple square awhile and tried to listen to the talks.

These guys were just too much fun for me:)

What can I say.... I do love him!

The protesters were pretty mild this year...they kind of kept to themselves but they made their statement known.

After waiting in line outside for approximately 4 hours...they finally moved us inside the conference center in a holding like area. It was so cramped. My feet hurt so bad because I was wearing heels so while we stood inside I had to take them off. As people shifted around a seat became available, but only one. We made use of it by sitting on Stuarts lap.

They sat us right as the first speaker began. We were up in the nose-bleeds but I can't complain the experience of being there was far more intense than watching it on TV. Ryan and I sat directly behind Stuart, Taylor, and Annie. It was awesome. I was able to attend the session in which Jeffery R. Holland gave his talk on the difference in Love and Lustful things we seek after. It was so awesome. Everyone was in awe as he "told it like it is". There are no words for the emotions and spirit that took place.

Afterwards we filed out of the conference center and walked awhile around Temple Square. It was jammed packed of conference goers and a line ten million years long for preisthood session:)

Rios Trio.

Then plus me.

It's almost as if he is saying i'm all his...only... he's really mocking his brother.

Saturday and Sunday nights we went up to Park City where a friend was house sitting. It was so awesome. I had so much fun with the guys. They watched movies, played video games and pool...and we even got to go hot tubbing. It was snowing the whole time in Park City so that made the winter experience that much better! Because it was so cold on Sunday and we were so tired for the traveling and whatnot catching up with us, we decided to stay in Park City and Provo on Sunday and not even attempt the Sunday line on Temple Square.

Monday morning we hit the road back to Rexburg. Overall the experience of Conference was awesome. I loved every minute of the talks, walking around Temple Square, Provo, Park City, The boys, the memories...everything could not have gone better. It was a beautiful weekend. Plus I was able to spend "some" time with my sister. Never enough time, but some time!

So we say so-long UT and Southern ID, and head for Libby, MT. As tired as we were the trip was coming to a close - and it appears, others trips were finished also.

A little more Seattle

my nieces and nephews were so cute when they got to spend lots of time together:) I loved every minute of my weekend in Seattle, WA.

Hello Seattle

A couple weeks ago, My family journeyed over to Seattle for the weekend. My sister Stephanie and her family were visiting the North from Rexburg, and we were able to gather in one location at the same time. I had been getting to know and getting very close to my (then) friend Ryan Rios from Libby. We were able to work our the car arrangements so he and I were together. The drive over to Issaquah was awesome. He and I really had and opportunity to talk some things out and get to know each other on a deeper level. We spent nearly the whole day driving, and I couldn't say it wasn't amazing:) I received a call in Ellensburg from mom saying my nephew David had left his "bear" he sleeps with at my parents house in Sandpoint. She asked for Ryan and I to keep our eye peeled for another bear so he would sleep peacefully. Being that we were about 20 minutes ahead of mom and dad's rig, Ryan and I decided to go to Bell Square in Bellevue and 'Build-A-Bear' for David. Boy was that adventurous. They have you pick the animal you want to stuff. Then you go over to these huge machines and somebody puts stuffing in the bear and sews it up. We put a little heart on the inside the beats, it's so cute. Then you go to a station and wash and scrub the bear (a bath) to get all the fuzzes off him. Then you go through the wardrobe department

After meeting up with Mom, Dad, Stephanie and Andrew, we headed out to Port Angelas, Washington for Aunt Glenda's wedding reception. It was Ryans first time on a ferry so that was a lot of fun.

Ryan and I gave David his build-a-bear which was quickly named Bear Jr. Or Junior Bear. The story was that Bear Jr. was Bears brother, and Bear had to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's.

David (at first) was much more interested in the ferry experience then his new bear... until ...

He spotted the Candy that came in the Easter basket with it.

And then all he cared about was the candy, forget the bear! (until bear is needed later)

We made it to Aunt Glenda's reception fairly late. Since we had to travel from North Idaho, wait for the ferry and traffic and such we didn't exactly make it on time. But when we had arrived there was still food, and she was still in her dress:) You see, Aunt Glenda went to Vegas to get married a few months prior, so it was special for us to be able to attend her reception. We were the only ones on mom's side of the family there:) It was fun to catch up with Aunt Glenda and her daughter Tasha.

Tasha and I are about a year apart in age.

Tasha, Deanna, and Stephanie. (Cousins)

Ryan was handed a baby to watch while Stephanie and I visited with family. He did so well with Hannah. About a half hour later, Hannah Bear was ready to eat and ready to go - so Ryan was put in charge of David playing in the water in the Bathroom. He is so good with kids, it's cute:)

On Sunday, Adam and Brandi and their daughter Adalynn arrived. Hannah didn't waste any time in cuddling with Uncle Adam:)

Uncle Adam is also very good with Children. Adalynn was so tired when she got to Issaquah that she immediately went down for a nap. Sunday afternoon we just spent the time catching up as a family, joking around, and sitting around.

Brandi and Stephanie

Ryan and I

Sunday night mom suggested that Ryan and I get out for awhile. So we got in the car and decided to explore. We ended up at the fish hatchery talking - and decided to walk around for a bit. This is where I received "the first kiss" (which is another blog and another story start to finish all on it's own). We did a couple errands for the family and returned home to the following picture. Andrew met Ryan and I at the door, and said they had something for me to try. They sat me in a chair in the middle of the room with two oreos. They told me I had one minute to wiggle two oreos from my forehead to my mouth. It's no easy task let me tell you what. Such a fun game full of a lot of laughter. I dropped the first oreo, and made the second. I love my family and the fun memories we create when we're all together:)

We spent the next couple days shopping, laughing and having a great old time. Ryan really impressed me with how much he fit into my family. They wouldn't let us get away with saying we were friends. They grilled Ryan and would ask over and over throughout the course of the weekend if we "are dating" or what. Being he is headed to California in a few weeks, we weren't real sure if a long distance relationship was what either of us needed or wanted. In spending time together we both realized you can't stop the course of what is supposed to happen. We couldn't fight the feelings we had...so one the way home, Wednesday March 23rd....It became official:) (which once again, is a blog all on it's own titled "our story" and will be posted soon)

So there you have it, the story of the weekend Ryan met my family:)

Bear and Bear Jr. say SO LONG - and until next time, Good night:)