We are the architects and builders of our lives

"All the knowledge in the world would not amount to anything unless we put that knowledge into actual practice. We are the architects and builders of our lives, and if we fail to put our knowledge into actual practice and do the duties that devolve upon us we are making a failure of life."
President Heber J. Grant

Blessings truly do come in all shapes and sizes. I have been stressed out about saving enough money to go to school. It is really hard to find jobs in Rexburg, Idaho for students attending BYU - Idaho. I moved back in with my parents as of the first of July to save as much money as I can in preparation to return to school.

A few months ago it hit me like a load of bricks while pondering the scriptures. I was studying the 3rd book of Nephi, Chapter 9. It is where the Lord tells the people that he will no longer accept offerings and sacrifices. The only sacrifices to which he will receive is a broken heart and contrite spirit. I thought to myself, Perfect people don't need to be perfected. The Lord is here to help us in our time of need. To lend a shoulder to cry on in a time of need. To help us when we're weak, to pick us up off the floor when we're down. Through a broken heart and contrite spirit, Christ can enter our lives. I started crying to myself, everyone has their fair share of hardships, but what does this mean to me at this point in my life. What do I have to offer? I have a job, I have all the time in the world, but there is one thing I am missing right now. A key area that even my Patriarchal blessing talks about. I need to finish my education. I have been very undecided and back and forth the past few years about what I'm going to study, why I want to study that, and where I can apply it. After returning to BYUI last spring, I changed my major to Child Development with an undeclared minor. I could not have enjoyed the classes more. I gained a greater appreciate for child rearing, and family hardships. Knowing I needed to return to school wasn't the problem, it's not like I have NOT wanted to go to school the past year...but responsibilities and circumstances kept me here in Sandpoint. Something was keeping me here, for some reason I still do not know. Maybe it was a lesson to learn, maybe it was to lend a hand, maybe to save money...I have yet to discover why I was supposed to wait this long - but I am going back. I have set a goal - FINISH MY BACHELORS BEFORE I'M 25, and this will be done. I'm the type of individual that when I have an idea, and I apply myself as much as I physically, emotionally and spiritually can, I will achieve in some way.

I have resubmitted my application to BYUI to begin classes in the Winter 2011 (January) semester. I hope to hear back from the school within the next couple weeks. But this is all a side note to the real blessing at hand. So yes, returning to school is quite expensive, and where in the world would I come up with enough money to go back. In the past I have not qualified for grants by the FAFSA at all, but I applied anyway. We shall hear more information as soon as I am accepted and assigned a track at the university. But this particular blessing comes quite unexpected but very appreciated.

Being that I have never qualified for any grants from the FAFSA, I applied last spring to a program called the Heber J. Grant Scholarship Program. They take individuals who have suffered a hardship, or ones with extenuating circumstances, and financially help them through school on a need basis. I was awarded 2 semesters (a years) worth of scholarship. My award was half tuition ($850). Because it was to be applied the next semester - which would have been fall 2009 - I never actually used any of the money allotted. After withdrawing from school I thought the opportunity had dissipated. In talking with my sister, I determined it might be wise to reapply for this particular program, and contacted the office. Surprised, the lady looked up my information and informed me that the money has been set aside for me to use whenever I return to school. Oh what a blessing. I thought I was going to have a wait a semester AGAIN to get the reward, but I don't. I am so happy that things are coming together quite nicely. I have a couple girls I want to live with and have been in contact with, and financially everything is seeming so possible at this point. I am so grateful for the many blessings that have come to me the past few months. The lessons learned, and the support given. I couldn't have been blessed with a better family or more inspirational friends. Everyone has been real encouraging of me to do what I feel is best!

I can only hope BYUI accepts me to start in January. It would be a real long wait to be readmitted in April! Anyways, with good news comes by way of a hopeful attitude. I can't wait to see what this next chapter in my book of life has in store:)

so, food for thought on the matter:

"We have all drunk from wells we did not dig, and warmed ourselves by fires we did not build."