how blessed

I just had to take this opportunity to share some of the thoughts in my mind. I haven't written a heart-felt post in awhile so I figured it was about time to use blog to share my feelings and emotions with others.

To start it's so nice to be home. I've had to opportunity to create memories that i've awaited for quite some time. It been a time of problem solving, paitence building, and love. As many may be wondering, I'm working at the theater. I came back to be trained as a supervisor. It's been a lot of fun learning and working with the new crew. Mom has really spent a lot of time turning things around there, and putting into place policies that have been needed for a really long time. I find that the crew working there now are a lot happier and willing to do the work that before. I enjoy the job for now, and it's really nice in a way to get back to something familiar. In my free time I spend time at home, or with Del and Carson. I've learned so much since i've been home! One thing I never did during the time Del and I were dating was ask questions. I always felt that they would laugh or think I was stupid for not having the knowledge that they both did. Now I find that it's easier to ask and understand than just pretend I know exactly what they are talking about. I can't tell you what i've learned but I know that in a pickle, I know I would survive. One thing Alaska taught me was to stand on my own two feet, and lately that's been really hard to do. Everything that i've bottled up from being in Alaska to now has just started to show. I can't drive down the road anymore and see a red car and not cry. It's not only that, things in my life that cause confusion and frustration irritate me more now than ever. I spend a lot of time in my bed, alone....and crying. Now the reason for posting this is not to worry my family and friends, or gain sympathy. It's simply for the fact to inform that I haven't been doing well. Now some of the readers may be thinking they know the reason for my un-happiness, but to be honest they can't possibly pin-point it on thing. Being away from Alaska and all the friends I met there has a lot to do with my saddness. It's hard to become like family, and then one day just not see them again. I found the only time I'm truely happy is when i'm busy helping out mom and dad or just spending time with them, or when I'm with Del and/or Carson just hanging out and having a great time. Other than that, when I have time to think I just get down on myself and loose all sorts of self-respect and self-confidence. I'm not sure why, and i'm working on it...I know i'll be okay, I just have a lot to sort out and work on. I'm so very blessed to have such great friends and family members that I know I can turn to in a time of need.

Now I'd like to continue this post on how very blessed I am to witness a process that indeed has brought inspiration and faith to my life. My brother Adam and his wife Brandi of 4 years have recently been blessed to have a birth mother committ to giving her child to them at birth. I realized how significant and special this baby will be. I love my little nephew so much, and am already so excited to welcome him to our family. It's so neat to see all my brothers and sisters having children and adding to the family. The Nobles are growing day by day and I'm so glad i'm part of it. Our family has always shared a special close bond, and I couldn't have asked for a more loving family. This baby will be blessed eternallly for a decision that a girl not much younger than me is making. I can't imagine how hard it is for her right how. Everytime I go to Adam and Brandi's blog and read about there addition to the family and his Birth Mother, and can't help but think how hard this must be on her. I hope she's able to feel the love for her baby boy and how much appreciation we all share towards her life choice. When I think of Bri I can't help but wonder if I were put in her shoes if I'd be strong enough to do that same. She's making a choice for the future of her baby that will ensure that the baby is well cared for and loved it's whole life. Being 18 and pregnant isn't any easy task, i'm sure. Although I haven't been through it myself i can sympathisize for her, and can't help but feel a special kind of love for her. Anticipating the arrival of Adam and Brandi's baby is so exciting, and I can't wait for their new addition. I'm just so lucky that i'll be around for that day...It'll be soon before I go back up to Alaska [if i choose to still go] and I can't be more thankfull for the opportunity I have in front of me to be apart of their sons first days:) I'm sure when adam and brandi read this they'll appreciate the words i've shared I just wanted to tell everyone that as i'm growing and maturing i realize how truely blessed each and everyone of are. With the eternal perspective in mind, i'm so happy to be apart of my family.


I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings that i've had on my mind more recently. Please know that I'm happy to be here, and I love my family and Friends. I'm thankful for the knowledge that I have many to lean on in a time of need. Thank you for your love and support you share towards me:)