Alaska State Fair

Last night we went to the Alaska State fair. We had so much fun. We left the lodge around 4pm and headed for Palmer, Alaska. We hoped to catch the Lumberjack show @ like 6pm so we were kind of in a rush. It was $10 to get in but whatever. I had so much fun at the fair. There was a group of 11 of us. It was George, Steve, Debby, Dana, Andrea, Chris, Nicole, Conrad, Derek, Me, and Joy. This was the first thing we went to. It was the Alaska State Fair Lumber Jack show. There's nothing hotter than a hard working guy in carhartt pants, flannel shirt, and a chainsaw. Haha I haha Nicole and I had a good time checking him out.

This was crazy. These two guys went flying up the pole and back down, I've never seen something so cool. But this picture is actually the stills from a movie.

He'll be my husband someday!

The Log Rolling contest:)

He carved a hair chair

The Alaska State Flag in Flowers!

Derek Chris and Conrad smelling the flowers.

Chris, ANdrea, Nicole, Conrad, Joy, Debby, Dana, Me, Steve and George

Chris at the Hulla-Hoop station. We all took our turns but he was probably the one with the most hip action and skill haha

This Pig was pregnant.

These baby pigs were crazy. It was two of them messaging the belly of one that looked like it was dead. Really they were just confused because they were used to nursing from their mom. But hey, the one got a free message!

A cabbage

Only in Alaska. Off Roading Go-Karts. Haha they even had pot-holes and mounds to go over. They were definately homemade. We could see that they bumpers had been welded themselves. Totally redneck!

Nicole Joy and I. I love these 2

The 3 Expeditors and the Dispatcher. Awww I love them!

Andrea and I

My Dream Wedding I guess

MY TEMPLE:

MY DRESS:

The girl that's wearing it makes it ugly..but I like the dress, although the bow has got to change somehow...possibly a different color:)

THE BRIDESMAIDS:
(different colors)

OR

THE RING:

I like the simplicity.

THE FOOD:

The food even looks amazing! I want professionally dipped strawberries that's so summery and cute!!!

Is this not the cutest thing ever?

I love this Cake! I think it's the prettiest thing EVER!

THE DECOR:

I LOVE IT!

MY BOUQUET:

Not that i'm really thinking about getting married or anything but I have done a lot of thinking about my goals and dreams. & this is simply what I'd like my dream reception to look like...along with a few extra things. Just things I've had sitting my computer for a long time and thought i'd post it. Kind of like growing up and how your Young Womens leaders have you write letters to your future husband every year...Yeah well I'm a girl, and I've planned my Wedding haha. For a long time I liked the colors Sage and Ivory...But I think things possibly might be changing. Ok i'm done dreaming now.

oh & we can't forget my husband Michael Phelps!

Things I only have to wait 4 weeks for:]

• Peach Propel


• Chocolate Chip cookies


• Real Food


• My own Bed


• My mom's messages


• Movies


• My closest friends (+him)


• The north Idaho outdoors


• Road trip:)


• My parents


• One step closer towards going back to school.

there's so many things i've learned that I take for granted. The simplest things in life mean so much. Yesterday I was looking @ a little gift given to me over the past year and I thought about how much it dearly meant to me. This specific gift has traveled with me pretty much everywhere i've gone. It went to school with me and was a lot of help there, and it was even more help here in Alaska. There is no need to display what this gift is, or even who it was from...it just made me realize how many valuable things without value I do have. Things I cherish most and don't really understand what my life would be like without them in it. Now needless to say this gift is special-It's also a symbol. A symbol that you don't need to see something, or someone to know they're always there. More recently in my life I know this is true. I've been blessed with many great friends who have been there with me through thick and thin, and also my dear family who has allowed me to call many times throughout the lonely nights just to talk, or vent. I appreciate things a lot more I think, and i'm getting to be wiser by my choices. I was young when I thought my life was all laid out for me...Now looking I realize I have so much more ahead of me. I don't need "things" to comfort me...all i need is those I love most, and those who love me most. I'm a vulnerable person I guess, and don't give up easily as many know. I fight for what I feel is right, and it gets me in trouble most of the time. I haven't had many people tell me recently "give up, it's not worth it. stop trying" which is probably what I actually need. I didn't actually fathom the importance of friendship till yesterday, when I viewed it from the outside looking in. A friend is someone whose there all the time. A friendship isn't just something the dissipates. It's longlasting no matter the status or situation. I'm greatful for the many friends I have, but most of all i'm greatful for those few best friends I do have. Those who without a doubt have held me when times get rough. I can't wait for the next 4 weeks to be over, so I can return to civilization with my newfound attitude. It seems like things in my life were rainy, but the sun is beginning to shine:) I'm so happy with how things are. Sure I miss memories of how my life was, or how it could of been, or how I dreamed of it being, but there's no sence in thinking today should be perfect, because then there's no need for tomorrow. The simplest things bring me joy. The smallest things bring me happiness. I guess it's hard for someone to tell me to cheer up, or tell me things will be alright...when sometimes I honestly feel it's not. Thanks to those who are there. Thanks to those who are counting down the days until I come home:) I can't wait to see you all!

EXACTLY 4 WEEKS LEFT!

Bittersweet Goodbyes

I'm so sick of everyone leaving. I hate saying goodbye to those i've come so close too. This summer has really opened my eyes to all the amazing individuals and opportunities out there. What will really be hard on me is when all my international friends leave. I get so close to someone and then they have to leave. Uhhhhh that's terrible. Hopefully the majority of them will all come back next year :)

Carissa And I! We had our moment but I can only hope that we'll both look back and only remember the good ones. It's hard living and working with the ones you love most, and I think we learned that lesson. Things weren't easy here in Alaska. We were tested all the time and I'm so happy that I met these individuals.

From Left to Right ( Becky, Chris, Carissa, Bethanie, Mitch, Nicole, Cathrine, Derek, Sadie, David, Me, Brantly, Andrea, Cody )

Sadie, Brantly, and Carissa are all leaving Thursday :(

The SUITE MATES

I had a blast with all of them these passed few months. I know that we all had our dramatic moment but I couldn't be more greatful for the memories we've shared and our ability to let things go and have a good time. From Left to Right (Carissa, Sadie, Me and Andrea)

*In with the New, Out with the Old*

These are the new roommates standing with Andrea and I. On the Left is Bethanie from Spokane, and on the right of me is Nicole from Deer Park. Below us is Carissa and Sadie, the two that are leaving on thursday. Both making sad faces because they are being replaced.

I LOVE YOU BOTH!
thanks for the good times:]

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

The passed couple weeks there have been a lot of individuals that have left Mt. McKinley Lodge. Most of them headed back to school. It really makes you pause and realize how many wonderful people you meet. I can't imagine meeting more prefound people in my life. I love every single one of them and am indeed greatful for my opportunity to come up here to Alaska. Here are a few photos from our girls nights. The first one was for Allison. We ate at the mountain view and dressed up a little. The second night was right before Kiara left this last week. We ate at the mountain view again and it was a blast. I'll see Kiara again in Vegas a month or so :]

• ALLISON'S NIGHT OUT
  

From Left to Right. Bethanie, Carissa, Andrea, Joy, Allison, Me, Sadie, Nicole, Rebecca

We only could fit 5 to a table. From Left to Right. Nicole, Joy, Me, Lisa, and Sadie

• KIARA'S NIGHT OUT
  

Kiara, Hayley, Me, Joy and Nicole

Nicole, Kiara, Joy, and I

Nice walks :]

a sweet boy put flowers on my door. How nice of him. The sign is from Kiara.

The view from the Hill Trail.

Just the 4 of us. We went on a little walk up the Hill Trail. It's Derek, Brantly, Sadie, and I

we had a good time:)

This is my neighbor Brantly. You can also see a part of the flowers that derek decorated my porch with. lol

I miss home

I loved spending time with my Nephews.

This is probably one of my favorite pictures i've seen from being home. Of course I haven't seen the one's of Del and I though and I know there were some cute ones.

Bear Encounter

I had hoped to get this posted a lot sooner but then I never got around to it. So- Like 4 nights ago I was sitting in Andrea and Carissa's room bored with like 7 other people. They came up with the idea to walk down the boy scout trail behind employee housing to go to the creek and catch fish with our hands. Here was the group

Bethanie

Mitch

Sadie

Brantly

Me

Derek

Mike

Chris

Carissa

Valadimer

and some other foreigner

We got to the bride and they spotted a porcupine. It ran off into the bushes so being the bright souls they are they started throwing rocks to see if it'd come out to take a picture. Andrea and I watched from the bridge not wanting to get needles from the creatures shot @ us. After awhile we got sick of standing waiting for this porcupine to come out of hiding so Andrea and I walked down the hill to the Chulitna river. We spotted hundreds of fish trying to swim up the creek just off the Chulitna and called the others over to see. Chris Mills took of his shoes, rolled up his pants and climbed into the freezing cold water trying to catch a fish with his hands. Secretly I was hoping he'd catch one so that I could hold it and take a picture. haha but he never did. At least not in time. Derek and Mike crossed the creek and were attempting the same maneuver on the other side. We were only there a few minutes until Valadimer with his bear spray turned around and started yelling Bear! As I jumped off the rock I was standing on I glanced over and saw a very unhappy momma black bear with 2 cubs. As she hurried her cubs up the tree, the 12 of us briskly made our way from the creek up the hill towards the bridge. Trying to not move too quickly or act too scared. The bear came running down the hill as Derek and Mike were trying to cross the creek...so they really just got super wet from having to jump across. we got up top safely, and began snapping pictures of the cute cubs and the bear swimming to catch fish. Unfortunatly my camara was a little blurry but I did get a really nice video of it. After sometime the girls were ready to go, the close encounter was just too close for us, but the boys wanted more pictures and continued to go back down the hill to get some. (Probably not smart) The bear, now irriatated, then comes from swimming in the creek back up the hill and STOPS at the end of the bridge where Sadie and I had been standing. She looked at us then ran back down into the tree's with her cubs. Honestly she was probably more terrified of us than we were of her, but she did have opportunities to get us. The closest she came was about 10-15' from us. AHHHH so scary. But now it's over, and I have a good alaskan bear tail. The only thing that would have made it better is to see her hunting something down like a moose or a fox. haha. Well I'm going to post pictures of this little adventure as soon as i'm on my computer and not the one in Talkeetna's office. [sorry grandma it took so long to post this. I know i told you days ago it'd be on there!] I'm greatful to be alive.

The Workplace

Garett, Yvonne, Sadie, La vina, and I
[the train group]

Mt. McKinley Princess Wilderness Lodge Employee's on the Train

People awaiting to board the train

Summer 2008 Transportation department
[the best people I've ever met]

The girls! I love all of them:)

Someone forgot to put the Oil cap on.
[Linda Toogood]

so many opportunities

After spending the time I have thinking the passed few weeks I have finally realized what is in store for my life. There are so many opportunities out there that I just shouldn't pass up. I now know that even when you think you have it all figured out things can be durastically changed in one instant. This time last summer-I had thought I'd be getting married by 2009, going to school, and working at the airport. Oh how very wrong I was. Life changes so much after high school, and i'm beginning to be greatful to the awakening experiences i've had to show me not to settle quite yet. Who knows where I'll be next summer...or this winter for that matter. I'm letting life take it's course. Being in Alaska I've taught myself that I deserve to do what makes me happy. Whether it means flying across the world to be a nanny, go volunteer in a 3rd world country, learn a new language, start my own business, drop out of school, work seasonally, travel, or just do nothing that's what I should do if that's what brings me joy and happiness. I'm not ready to get married, i'm not ready for that commitment quite yet. There are many things that I want to do before I embark on that portion of my life. I want certain things in my life that haven't ever been more clear to me than they are now. I want to spend my life with certain individuals that I never even realized before. For the longest time I was taking advantage of those that mean the most to me, and I now know that I need to straighten up. My marriage and love preference in the end is completely up to me. I will see how things pan out in many different areas but I can't look at the upside or the downside too much. I can makes plans all i want-but inside i know they'll change the minute their set. I'm not longer signing on the dotted line till i'm sure of what I want. I love my life. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my Job. I love my home. and I love being outside.

Religion aside- I look at others that are close to me and question if they are happy with their lives. We're all so young and have many opportunities laid out before us. It's just making the decision to choose to participate in the options we have. I've been so blessed to be raised with standards and morals that aide me in goal setting and choosing the right path. Although I may have struggled with that straight and narrow path over the years- it helps make me appreciate those who come to it without knowledge growing up so much more.

Every morning I wake up and question what I deserve, and I feel like I should deserve the best. I should deserve something that has not doubt. I deserve to be happy without question. A good analogy i heard recently is "i feel like i just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwhich." That sums up what i've felt the passed since the new year. I need to be able to trust those who give me their word. I need to let go, and embrace some choices i've made over the passed 19 years. I have learned so many lessons throughout my life, and I can only hope that the rest of if will be lived without regret, and with many love and joyous moments.

I'll hang on to that which makes me happy as long as it continues to make me happy. I'll let go when the time is right. I'll hold on to the fact that I may disappoint along the way, but those who know me will love me no matter what the decisions I make. Those who really know me will be there for me at my lowest, and embrace me at my highest. I'm greatful for the clarity I know feel.

I know what I need to do. I'm not going to choose that path quite yet. I'm going to wait...and see how things go. I can no longer make rash decisions. I'm an adult, and need to start making choices accordingly. Starting today, whatever I do-I do because it makes me happy.

"the night is darkest just before dawn." -that is what i'm going through, my dawn is now arriving.